The Top Five Celebrities at Our Dream Party Barge
There comes a time in every person’s life when they must ask themselves serious questions in order to navigate the modern world we live in. This is a normal part of a human’s intellectual development process and should not be taken lightly. We believe that as a party boat company operating out of Lake Travis in Austin, Texas, where we rent out private pontoon boats but also specialize in our FAMOUS DISCO CRUISE PARTY events for bachelor and bachelorette parties that it makes perfect sense we should play a role in assisting with teasing out the answers to life’s greatest mysteries for you.
I mean, who else should you look to, philosophers or spiritual guides?! Obviously it’s us you need and we are so here for you.
We can and will address many things for you through this blog, whether you want us to or not, and today we would like to tackle something that, surely, we all ponder over. The question comes to us while we wash the dishes, go on a walk- you know, the times when your mind meanders on it’s own and asks you…
WHICH TOP FIVE CELEBRITIES WOULD YOU MOST WANT TO PARTY WITH ON A DISCO CRUISE?!
We’ve thought about it so you don’t have to and can you believe someone actually gets paid to write this, here we go!
I mean…here is the thing. She loves to dance so she is, without a doubt, going to get that party boat dance floor BOPPING while our DJs are doing what they do best and cultivating vibes, as they do. She is unpredictable and frequently nude-but peaceful (unless we also invited her family on board which, we would NEVER so not a problem). This makes her our number 1 dream boat party attendee due to sheer entertainment factors combined with a small level of fear from the innate knowledge that behind those empty black doll eyes there is a wild woman who could either corner you and vent about how rude her heartless children or try to tongue kiss you and that mixture is what keeps adrenaline pumping, causing you to feel alive.
Need we explain further? He’s the ultimate party starter, facilitator, and until the last minute he is on point until we dock back at Anderson Mill Marina and the party is over. He gets along with everyone, he is calm, he is funny, he loves life and we believe he would also follow the boat rules, especially now that he is older. We aren’t sure if we could handle young Bill Murray, he may have had to sign a special kind of waiver to protect us from that kind of liability. Bill Murray is a DREAM Disco Cruiser.
Ok hear us out. You look at her and you think, “what’s up” older conservative lady? But then, it’s Martha Stewart and it is an older conservative lady but she’s high, has prison stories and is right there in the mix with you making jokes, chatting, a with and entire tray of GOURMET SANDWICHES dressed with cute little wrappers. We mean, like, the kind of sandwiches that have artisanal homemade bread and fancy things like grey poupon or whatever. All kinds of sandwiches. A variety. Just like Bill Murray, she’s not here to cause the kind of trouble which leads to injury, she’s maternal and wants you to survive and listen to us but, again, she is high and has sandwiches along with some possible sage wisdom to disperse to tipsy Disco attendees and we believe this combination would make her a fantastic addition.
We don’t believe we need to justify this choice but we will go ahead and paint the picture for you anyway because of course we will. A beautiful, body positive, fun, funny, confident black woman who can dance and sing and encourage women to let loose and be comfortable, to be themselves?! Also the DJ could play Lizzo songs and she could dance with you to her own songs, which would be epic and we would like to see that because Lizzo songs are always good, no matter how much we hear them. And we hear them a lot. We love this choice. We would make this choice over and over again.
We just want to see what would happen.
We hope this post helps to answer at least one of the deep existential queries you may have rolling around in your heart and solidifies that you should listen to everything we say because we know what we are talking about.